Okanagan Boudoir Photographer

What is Body Positivity? – By Brand Ambassador Lindsay

April 17, 2020

Over the past handful of years there has been an amazing shift in the way we think about what is beautiful and attractive. Instead of the too-thin runway models of the 90’s and early 2000’s we now have a movement that supports beauty in all of its various shapes and forms, and I will always cheer for the woman who is able to overcome those previous societal constructs to flaunt what her mama gave her without fear of judgement. We all have dimples and folds, and I love that women are able to
embrace them.

But there’s always a dark side to everything, isn’t there? Where before women were told they weren’t worth anything unless they had visible hip bones and a thigh gap (which, did you know, not every woman can even genetically achieve? It’s all about the position and shape of your pelvic bone!), now we are told we are anti-feminism or working against the Body Positivity movement for wanting to change your body composition or lose some unhealthy fat to improve your long-term health. I was once personally told that it was people like me who worked against the entire movement of Body Positivity after I posted a before and after photo of myself after about a year of consistent dedication to working out daily, because my post apparently shamed other women who were not as fit as I was. I was so shocked and confused by her accusation that I deleted the photo and rarely have posted fitness-related content on my social media since. But why was this movement somehow not meant for me, too? Why have some people taken Body Positivity and warped it into something it is not meant to be- shame on the woman who wants to better her physical health and body composition for the long-term benefits it provides. What kind of sense does that make?

So, this brings me to the point of my post today: It’s time that we re-write the current definition of Body Positivity. Instead of using it to shame people for wanting to live healthier lifestyles, or even to avoid action for your own wellbeing, we should be empowering women everywhere to love their bodies enough TO be active. It is absolutely possible to love your body but want to be healthier, and it is OK to want to improve your health and appearance. Wanting to make a change does NOT mean that you are anti-feminism or against this movement of self-love. I fact, I will argue until I am blue in the face that engaging in at least one hour of physical activity each day IS SELF LOVE.

Sometimes we just don’t know where to start, though. Scrolling through Instagram brings you thousands of images of sponsored athletes showing off their sculpted abs, tanned skin, workout programs for fat loss, muscle gain, contest prep and all the supplements you need to achieve what they have. It’s pretty overwhelming!

Luckily, it doesn’t have to be that complicated. A balanced diet (Note: from here on and forever the word ‘DIET’ shall refer to the food you consume to fuel your body and never again be used to describe any kind of disordered eating where you deprive yourself of your favorite foods for a specific period of time, only to resume the same habits once that period has ended, effectively destroying any progress you may have made during that time), plenty of water (2.5 litres per day is recommended, which is at least 1 8oz glass every hour!) and at least one hour of physical activity per day is all you need to begin to see meaningful changes in your energy, mood, sleeping patterns, love life and physical appearance. Being more active also reduces certain health risk factors such as heart disease, diabetes, metabolic syndromes and some cancers.

But what is a balanced diet? A little bit of fat, some healthy carbs and lots of good protein in every meal. We’ve been conditioned to think that Fat or Carbs are the enemies of health. This could not be further from the truth! Those athletes you see on Instagram eat TONS of carbs and fats daily. Your body needs these elements to fuel your daily bodily functions. Healthy fats are used for cell growth, organ protection and insulation, hormone production, distribution and nutrient absorption. To determine whether a fat is ‘good’, check the food labels and avoid items high in SATURATED fats. Unsaturated fats are generally considered healthier by health and fitness professionals. A few examples you can incorporate into your daily routine include:Plain Greek Yogurt

Avocado

Natural Peanut/Nut Butters (The only ingredients are the nuts and salt)

Olive Oil (sparingly!)

Eggs (These hit the fat, carb AND protein checklist!)

But what about Carbs!? Lately these guys have been given the bad rep. The Keto diet is a big hit, but since I am not a Registered Dietitian or Nutritionist, I am not going to dig too deeply into that one. What I can say is that Carbohydrates are essential to the body’s cellular function. Carbohydrates are broken down and taken into the bloodstream as Glucose. From there, they are converted into a molecule called ATP, which the body then uses for things we don’t even think about such as contracting the muscles to allow you to walk or pick up that heavy item. The problem we run into is when we taken in more carbs than the body needs for its current energy needs: excess carbs are converted into Glycogen by the liver and stored in the muscles for immediate energy needs later on when blood-glucose might run low. If all of our glucose storage sites are full the body does some pretty neat work and converts those excess carbs to fat molecules and store them on the body to access later on. Yay? The key is selecting carbs that will both satisfy and fuel you appropriately without having an excess in the body. When choosing your carbs aim for more complex carbs over simple ones.

Simple carbohydrates are things such as sugar or maple syrup – not a lot of nutritional value, they are rather rapidly broken down and used and you do not feel ‘satisfied’ for very long.
Complex carbohydrates are called such because they are made up of a longer chain of molecules, which takes longer to break down and absorb, which keeps you feeling fuller for longer. A few examples you can try to include in your daily routine:

Whole grains: Brown rice, steel-cut oatmeal
Grain-like foods such as quinoa (a personal fave of mine! Serve it as a side salad with chopped veggies or with nuts and dried fruits mixed in)
Potatoes, Sweet Potatoes
Vegetables – they vary in carbohydrate content but let’s be real: how many unhealthy people do you know who fill at least half their plates with veggies every day? We’re not gonna obsess or nitpick! Moving on!

Last but not least, your protein. Who doesn’t love a good, thick, juicy steak now and again? (Sorry to all my Vegan, Veg, Pescatarian friends!) Protein plays an important role in tissue growth and repair. The body also uses protein as a building block for bones, muscles, cartilage, skin and blood, as well as some enzymes, hormones and other body chemicals. Without protein our body will have insufficient muscle mass to support your skeleton and organs as you go through your daily activities. It also will reduce your muscle function and strength, and can cause muscle cramping and soreness. Luckily, there are tons of sources of protein to take in daily no matter what lifestyle you enjoy! Some examples include:

Animal Protein (White meat is preferred over red as it is leaner – Chicken, Turkey, white fish such as Cod, etc.)
Eggs
Dairy products: Milk, Cheese, Plain Greek Yogurt, Cottage Cheese)
Non-Animal Proteins (Tofu, Lentils, Chickpeas, Nuts, some veg such as Mushroom, Kale and Broccoli)

It’s important to remember that eating a balanced, healthy diet INCLUDES the little indulgences we love. Sweets such as cookies, candies and cakes can and should be enjoyed in moderation. Family events, holidays, birthdays, milestones or even making it through that one awful Monday meeting- these all deserve a sweet treat and a good drink!

Physical activity does not mean you have to run out and get a gym membership and a personal trainer. It could be as simple as walking the dog for a little longer, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, going for a swim or a hike, joining your friend for that Yoga class she won’t shut-up about or even really giving your house a good deep-clean. Something to get your heart-rate up a little bit is all you need. Eventually you might find yourself curious about what goes on behind those Fitness Club doors, and you should absolutely act on that curiosity! Many gyms will offer a free pass to try their facilities for a week to get a taste of what they have to offer. Grab a friend and try it with them, or reach out to a friend who you know goes there and see if they will be your Gym Buddy. Have an open mind and try the classes and other equipment – you just might find something you love! If the normal gym atmosphere is not for you, you are in luck! There are a TON of specialty fitness clubs in the Okanagan that you can take advantage of – from Hot Yoga to Barre to Kickboxing, there truly is something for everyone. There are also clubs in the community you can look into such as soccer and volleyball leagues. Don’t be shy about trying things out. Finding the right gym or activity for you is kind of like shopping for jeans. Sometimes you have to try on what feels like a hundred pairs, but when you find the right ones it’s a match made in heaven.

As a Woman and a Personal Trainer, I love to see women supporting each other. Build each other up, make each other feel good about their choices and who they are. But that also means you will continue cheering for them even if you don’t agree with them. The woman who loves to workout will in no way negatively effect you or harm you in any way, and neither will the woman who chooses not to live the same lifestyle.

Meaningful change happens with the small choices made every day. Motivation will come and go, but your determination is something that will always remain, in those times where you do not feel like doing anything it should be allowed to propel you into action. Body Positivity, to me, is loving your body enough to take good care of it and recognizing that care means something different to other people.

I love my body as it is right now, a little fluffier than when we last spoke but also undergoing the incredible task of creating not one but two little humans; but when all is said and done and my babies are living outside my body I will return to my version of self-care and self-love and take care of myself in the best way that I know how. And that is all I ever really hope for all of you to do as well.

Love yourself always, no matter what. But also, eat your veggies.

-Lindsay

by Cierra

Being Empowered with an Invisible Illness – By Brand Ambassador Darci

April 5, 2020

For my final shoot as a brand ambassador with Pillow Talk Studios we were given the opportunity to choose a theme dedicated to ourselves. I struggled with this initially as I wanted to do something that represented myself in a unique, creative way, while also positively impacting Cierra’s artistry and providing Pillow Talk with beautiful content.

“BOUDOIR IS SENSUAL. BOUDOIR IS FREEDOM. BOUDOIR IS SELF LOVE.BOUDOIR IS FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO FEEL SEXY AND EMPOWERED IN THEIR OWN SKIN.”

Cierra never ceases to amaze me. Despite feeling slightly more comfortable in the boudoir world with this being my last shoot as an ambassador, I still struggled with mixed emotions and anxiety over my initial idea of using nothing but a purple ribbon for my final shoot. But, after one discussion with Cierra, she successfully alleviated my anxiety and helped me conquer my nerves for the shoot reminding me of the welcoming, supportive group of models we had, each with their own shining individuality. It still amazes me how someone, in such a short time of knowing you, can be so open, encouraging, and welcoming of all.

Using inspiration from some of Cierra’s previous shots, while also adhering to my goal of being minimalistic and maintaining a traditional boudoir aesthetic, I chose to use a purple ribbon for a few reasons.

I wanted to look soft, feminine, and powerful. Some believe purple symbolizes nobility, luxury, and ambition.

While I believe these characteristics to be true, purple also holds a place of deep significance in my heart as a purple ribbon is used to represent Lupus awareness.

Lupus is considered to be an invisible illness – while their can occasionally be physical evidence of the disease, largely it is considered an
in*vis*i*ble dis*a*bil*i*ty
Def: “..a physical, mental, or neurological condition that is not visible from the outside, yet can limit or challenge a person’s movements, senses, or activities.”

I was diagnosed with Lupus when I was only 14 years old after months of doctors appointments and various trips to the emergency room trying to determine the underlying cause of my pain and inadvertent depression.

The main problem was the fact that all of my symptoms were invisible to the naked eye – the joint pain, nausea, headaches, chronic fatigue, anxiety, and brain fog – and at 14 years old, nobody wants to believe you’re sick.

“It’s all in your head” “You don’t look sick” “You’re so young, you can’t be tired”

Lupus can display itself in many forms, and in some cases it can take months or years to be properly diagnosed. Lupus is a chronic autoimmune disease in which the body’s immune system can mistakenly attack healthy tissues and organs. While Lupus is mainly an invisible illness, it can also present itself in physical ways such as rashes, swelling, and skin lesions. The most difficult part of managing Lupus is the fact that it tends to come in waves – and those waves can be large or small depending on the myriad of symptoms that accompany them. Your body will go through flare ups and remission periods that can be very difficult to manage among your daily life routine. In order to reduce the number of flare ups you have to become very good at listening to your own body. You have to focus on minimizing stress, eating well, and staying active – something often very difficult for the average healthy person to do, let alone someone managing an underlying illness.

I try to remain positive and optimistic about my situation. I know things could always be worse and I am thankful for every day I continue to live in remission. It helps me to feel better that I am not alone.

It is estimated that 1 in 10 people live with an invisible disability.

Yet what continues to frighten me, is even with such a large amount of people suffering, many others are unaware, or uneducated on the subject. This was a huge part of my battle I faced head on at only 14 years old and continue to face even today.

It took me months of attempting to describe my pain and fatigue to my family, friends, and medical professionals, to my managers and coworkers. I was even questioned about my career path at one point due to the physical and mental strain Lupus can cause on one’s body as well as the risk of exposure to others. But, I refused to let Lupus hold me back, regardless of what others had to say. One of the key things I have learned throughout my battle within is that most are not going to understand what you’re going through and that is OK. It is up to you to show yourself love and remind yourself that you’re not alone. One of the most satisfying ways I was able to soak up some self-love was through participating as a brand ambassador with Pillow Talk Studios.

Now, at 21 years old, with a diploma in aesthetics, I have proven to myself that my everyday battle with Lupus has made me strong. I am confident and beautiful through all the adversities. Lupus does not make me less. I believe having an invisible illness enables you to become so in-tune with your body, mind, and soul which is a luxury that many people may not experience in their busy day-to-day lives. I am thankful for my struggles. I believe they made me who I am. Today I am fortunate enough to be able to recognize that what’s happening on the surface among others, may not always be everything going on behind the scenes. However behind the scenes at Pillow Talk Studios it doesn’t matter to Cierra what goes on behind the scenes; to her we are all equal and I am so thankful for that.

I am thankful for the amazing opportunity I had with Pillow Talk. I wish that everyone could have the opportunity in their lifetime to feel the way Cierra made me feel. Thank you Cierra for showing me a side of my beauty I never knew I had, for providing me an outlet to share that confidence and finally, thank you for an amazingly diverse network of supportive, and empowering women who continue to motivate me and accept me for who I am.

– Darci

https://www.instagram.com/beautybydarc/

by Cierra

Living with an Eating Disorder – By Brand Ambassador Marissa Phoenix

March 30, 2020

Trigger Warning – Eating disorders.

This is a difficult topic, even in today’s world. I don’t know for certain if it will ever become an easy topic to speak of.

So here it goes.

I have an eating disorder.
I do believe one can recover to a certain extent from this ailment, but I do not believe the thoughts or patterns that accompany the eating disorder ever truly vanish. Though we one day reach a certain level of awareness, and perhaps make attempts to remove the unhealthiest habits we’ve formed, I feel as though these behaviours are almost engrained in our minds. The first time I recall ridiculing my appearance, I was 10 or 11. It was my first time trying on a bikini. I distinctly remember looking at the image of the girl on the tag, then looking at myself in the mirror and thinking, “Why does my stomach look like that? Hers doesn’t”. I remember even speaking with my grandmother about my newfound tummy roll, asking her what I can do to make it go away. She just told me all girls have it. But I knew that couldn’t be, as I had seen images of other girls that had no tummy roll.

For weeks afterwards I remember wearing tight high waisted leggings or pants to sleep, in hopes that it would somehow make this insecurity of mine vanish, but to no avail. So one day I googled “How to lose my tummy roll”, and thus sparked my journey down a dark path. I now knew that it was, in fact, food that was causing said problem. I started counting my calories each day, in hopes of refining my physical appearance to a point of acceptability. Yet, this day never came.

I’m going to be honest here, I love food. I always have. But this toxic mindset and new routine prevented me from allowing myself to indulge. On the rare occasions I would slip up, I could barely contain myself, as if I were an addict in need of a fix. I would devour everything in sight, until it hurt to move. Once this binge would subside I would wallow in self disgust, asking myself why I had just ruined my progress like that. It was only a matter of time until I began sticking my fingers down my throat, in an attempt to reverse my mishaps.

It’s crazy typing this, how real it feels, and how long I had been in denial about it. But like I said, awareness does not necessarily mean I’m fully recovered. I believe eating disorders are an addiction. I believe once you become addicted to something, it’s nearly impossible to completely shake the addiction, especially when your addiction is legal, readily available, and advertised on all platforms. I believe eating disorders do not have a specific “look”. A person of any weight, height, age, or gender can suffer from an eating disorder.

I think it’s so difficult for us to talk about because this ultimately exposes our behaviours, and potentially sheds light on the parts of us we’d rather keep hidden. Eating disorders statistically have the highest mortality rate out of all mental illnesses. If that’s not a reason for discussion, I don’t know what is. If you are struggling, talk to someone. I promise the weight that will come off your shoulders will be so much more beneficial than the weight coming off the scale.

By: Marissa Phoenix

https://www.instagram.com/marissaphoenix/

by Cierra

Finding Your Inner Beauty – By Brand Ambassador Danielle

March 25, 2020

Everyone has their own opinion of their appearance, their self-image.

Often we are harder on ourselves then those around us. Society, it tells us how we should look. Especially women. Even a size 4 looks in the mirror and sees flaws, picks apart their own bodies, sees other people who are more “beautiful” than they are, everyone compares. Does a persons size make a difference?

The feeling of displeasure when you look in the mirror doesn’t discriminate.

Who does it affect more? Someone who doesn’t eat “clean” or exercise? Or someone who pushes themselves at the gym, takes consideration of every piece of food that touches their tongue?
Humans, no matter of size, feel the same feelings. We all share the same feelings of body negativity… unhappiness. The feelings of heaviness, bloating, fat, imperfections and so many other negative feelings creep so easily into our mind.

Let’s help each other change the mindset we have when we look in the mirror.
See the beauty, the battle scars, the sexy curves and appreciate our amazing bodies.
Let’s motivate, uplift and encourage each other of what true beauty is.
We all have it.
I encourage to reflect on yourself. What do people notice about you? Think of positives only.

by Cierra

Finding Confidence – By Brand Ambassador Sarah

March 19, 2020

Once upon a time I wasn’t a confident person. You look at me today and probably think, “Wow, what a beautiful girl, she shines!”.

I didn’t get here overnight… it took years and years of work.

I was homeless from a very young age. At age 14, I was on my own.

My main concerns were:

“What am I going to eat today?”
“Where am I going to sleep tonight?”
“Does my family think about me?”
“Why aren’t they taking care of me?”
“Where am I going to sleep tomorrow?”

I didn’t have a mother around during those important years of becoming a woman. The streets acted as my mom. So I ended up very broken from that lifestyle and I stopped believing I was capable of anything.

Then my life changed when I met my husband Richard. Richard made me feel like no other man had before. For so many years I have felt unloved, not beautiful and unworthy. Then all of a sudden this amazing man walks into my life and tells me I’m special everyday. He spoiled me. He filled my soul cup right back up. He took me on fancy dates. He’d give me his bank card before dinner, and would say “Go buy yourself something cute to wear.”, Dreamy right?

After being with Richard for a while, I had opened up to him about the fact that I had wanted to be a model when I was younger. It had never worked out because I had no support and it was hard to do that as a teenager. So Richard asked his mom if he could borrow her camera and he brought it home one night after work. He told me to go put on something pretty and we told me we should do our own photo shoot. I remembered feeling a bit nervous, but I said yes. I got on a silk shirt, some cute lingerie, and I remember I felt so comfortable with him. I remember laying down on our couch and just being myself, my natural sexy self. My toes pointed, my back curved, a sultry expression on my face. After seeing those pictures that was the first time in my life that I’ve seen myself from somebody else’s eyes. I saw the beauty that he always praised me for. I saw the gorgeous eyes he always complimented me on. I saw the big beautiful hair everybody always said was stunning. I finally saw myself for what other people saw. I’m not going to lie, it was a huge confidence booster!

I’m glad that I said yes to him. I’m glad I took a chance and did something that I knew I wanted to do. Something I thought I was too scared to do. I still have those pictures today and I still look back on them and smile. It’s a fond memory between my late husband and I that I’ll cherish forever. He truly did make me feel like a one-of-a-kind unicorn.

Now almost 7 years later, I decided to take that chance again and do photoshoots with Cierra & Pillow Talk Studios. After receiving the photos back from Cierra, I got that exact same feeling that I did the same day as my husband Richard took pictures of me. It brought a massive smile to my face and also a massive boost of confidence to my soul in the present time. I didn’t even know I needed it! I’m so thankful for Cierra. Sometimes we just have to take that chance and just say yes and do the things you’re scared of.

By: Sarah

https://www.instagram.com/itsyabudgirl/

by Cierra